Books

Angel’s Diary

“You feel a gentle touch on your shoulder. Surprised, you try to locate its source. You see no one. Still you feel that you’re not alone. You look around and nearly stop your activities. Later, you might even forget that moment. But I surround you with love, and I am grateful that you noticed me.

The days, weeks, and our lives pass by. Yet I guide you through different times, lives, and places where you might linger. Through good, bad, and whatever you yourself have come to learn in this world, I will never leave you. I am your guardian angel.

I don’t know if you’ll read these lines now or after the passing of many years, in this life or in the next, or ever, but my love for you is endless. It is as endless as light is itself because love and light are one. I am thankful that I have been given the opportunity to send love in this way to you, to those who are close to you, and to all people because within love, we are all one.”

Available on Barnes & Noble, Balboa Press and Amazon.

Angel’s Diary - Ingli Päevik (in Estonian)

Angel’s Diary was first published in Estonian in 2008.

Spot of Light (Valgusetäpp)

A collection of poems from 2016. Published in Estonian. 

"take my collection of dreams

I wrote it on the sand

I scattered it on the snow

I lit it on fire

I posted it to life

then I called it back

to dreams

so that no one more

could get hurt anymore"

The Formula of Life (Elu valem)

Published in 2006.

“May the knowledge of distant and foreign things become familiar and useful.  Some previously overlooked truths in this life are much simpler and more practical than we are accustomed to believe.  Familiarity is strength.   But this strength is deceptive, because no-one has been able to change the certainties of life.  And so it is that everyone faces a choice: whether to leap into the river and start swimming against the flow or whether to entrust oneself to the water and travel along with it.  The river has spent ages carving its bed.  It has twisted and turned for a long time to reach its distant destination.  To somewhere.  Into something.  Are we prepared to trust the river in its efforts and movement?

Recognizing life’s truths can lighten our existence.  Many inexplicable things become simple and obvious.  The creation of life belongs to life alone, not to the laws, principles and theorems of Pythagoras, Newton and others.  There is a life which allows momentary recognition of the rules of existence.  And these moments are enhanced by truths, theorems and laws, though they are all simply life’s playthings.  Playfulness enriches life, seriousness drains it.  We are travellers on a miraculous journey of miraculous experience.  Each one of us has an inalienable right to take what life gives us and to share this experience with others.  This is the power of sharing, because, sooner or later, the power in taking has to acknowledge that giving is the greater power.  And everyone has the right to acknowledge or deny the experience one inherits.  And as long as everyone’s right to this acknowledgement exists, life remains alive.  But why is this so?”

Creation (Loomine)

"Creation" is the story of two economically successful young men, whose worldview collapses after a strange clown with a wreath invites them to a performance. One of the characters arrives on stage and a crowd of children demands a performance. This is a complete failure.

This is followed by a meeting with a stranger who fulfills all the material desires of the young men and suggests checking whether their balance is still balanced. The egos of young men are blown up with a powerful momentum that soon there will be no room for a friend and a bigger explosion will follow.

Chaos leads to a new world, full of angelic guidance and the opportunity to get rid of the burden of time and things. The young men experience a meeting with the Higher Self, and their seeking spirit leads them to answer the questions. The characters make a choice whether to live in matters or in the answers, whether to choose temporal success or timeless balance. And everyone makes their choice. It is the law of free will, and everyone creates their own reality. This is the ritual of creation.

Creation (in Russian)

The Message to Egypt (in Russian)

Published in Russian in St Petersburg in 2001.

The Message to Egypt (Läkitus Egiptusesse)

Published in 1998.

“Martin Paan's "The Message to Egypt" is as metacultural as "The Little Prince" or "Rose Novel" (Paan also seems to allude to both).

Most of all, however, the text is like a Schroedinger cat - an imaginary cat in a test chamber, whose life-death balance is inevitably destined to disturb the chamber and the kitten's perceiver in one direction or another. What happens to a cat, which side of his consciousness he gets on, is probably completely random, but it determines the perception of all further self-awareness and relationship to consciousness. The illusion that everything is noticeable here and now, in an armchair in front of the fireplace, can be a prerequisite for real deep contemplation. Or a prerequisite for final anesthesia. Recognizing Today's duality, however, the reader is once again confronted by Schroedinger's cat. When I am asked about the most important Estonian work of the last ten or a couple of decades, I am the first to mention "Mission to Egypt". Even above the works of Undusk, Kõiv, Kaplinski, Kross and Kareva. Am I risking my credibility? Good." Berk Vaher, critic (Arter, 01.08.2000)